The Perfect Parent Myth
The Huffington Post recently published an article entitled: “How To Be The Perfect Parent in 5 Easy Steps or Never.” I thought the title was a funny reflection of parenting: you will never be the perfect parent. I will never be the perfect parent or the perfect dad. Not even me, the so called “teen whisperer.”
The key is NOT to be a perfect parent but a consistent parent. And to be a consistent parent, it’s all about consistent encouragement and consistent consequences. In this video I will explain what this means on a practical level and why both consistent encouragement and consistent consequences are so important to being a solid parent
WATCH: The Perfect Parent Myth
“The key is NOT to be a perfect parent but a consistent parent.”
IMPORTANT POINTS
1. Consistent encouragement. I challenge you to set a reminder on your phone to ping you once a day to say something kind and encouraging for your kid. Ex: every day at 4pm send your teenager a kind, loving text message. Honey I love you and I’m proud of how you do ____________.
2. Consistent consequences. This also takes planning on your part. You need to have a game plan in advance because as parents we often get emotional when our kid does something wrong. We tend to overreact out of anger or frustration or we underreact because we are sick and tired of their behavior, or we’ve had a crazy day and we’re worn out. Creating a game plan in advance gives you a safety net so you can avoid both scenarios.
3. To deliver those consistent consequences, have an agreement written out and signed by both of you before anything happens, that way you can refer to it when you need to. Your agreement would say something like: “If you do this, then X is going to happen.” Then when X does happen you’ll just say “Here’s what we agreed upon in advance, there’s your signature, my signature. Here are the agreements that we agreed to as a family.”
RESOURCES
VIDEO: Getting Your Teen To Open Up
DOWNLOAD: House Rules Contract
PLEASE HEAR ME
No parent will ever be perfect, not you and not me and not anyone else. But if you consistently praise and consistently uphold consequences for your child or teen, you’ll be a great parent and that’s all your kid really needs you to be.
